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Find your life boring and distressingly empty of “fireworks”? In need of catering and dancing for your stag do? Ever wondered what it’s like to experience the world through the eyes of a marine mammal?
You need an Egbert the Careless! Trained in the finest paladin¹ halls of the Order of Le Dragon D’or², he’ll thwart your enemies³, delight your friends⁴, and smite evildoers in a blinding flash of holy light⁵! Plus, he’s tasty in a pinch⁶, and can even be used as the base for a clone army⁷!
¹ Warrany void if used for paladin tasks. ² Egbert the Careless is not affiliated with the Noble Order of Le Dragon D’or. ³ May also thwart you. ⁴ May disgust friends. ⁵ Due shortage of holiness, Egbert the Careless will instead be delivered with a set of bombs. ⁶ Kidney not included. ⁷ Cloning Egbert the Careless is possible but is not recommended. May attract annoying mid-level adventurers.