The Last Unicorn, the Ugly Unicornling, Nasticorn. Who says our favorite mythological creatures have to be fuzzy and cute? This isn’t pink and covered in flower crowns or jewels, this unicorn will probably fuck you up if you don’t run. If you did run, it’ll probably outrun you and your friends. My unicorn can beat up your unicorn. Run fast? Check. Impale? Check. Maybe it is a zombie unicorn. Maybe it likes doughnuts. WHOOSH! What was that? I don’t know, was is it a bird? A plane? No, it was a unicorn. Angels are scary, now unicorns. Half unicorn, half human. Humacorn. Uniman. It’s nose almost touches its chin. It probably likes to smell and eat food at the very same time because sensory overload isn’t a problem here. This might be the New Jersey Devil, La Bafana, Yeti, Nessie, Bigfoot, the Tooth fairy, or all of these put together. No one ever sees it because it can be anywhere in the world at any moment. Like Santa or Jesus. What if God was one of us? How about if Nasticorn was one of us?
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